The Style Counsel
Full Transcript - Episode 6
Speed traps, banana skins...and a visit from the Fashion Police
J: Man, I need…I gotta have some coffee today. Let’s take this up! Yeah! Good morning São Paulo! I am ready! Let’s go pod!
G: Hello and welcome to another episode of The Samba Buzz!
J: That’s buzz with two zees.
G: Or two zeds. So Jay, how are you today? What’s up with you?
J: Er, somebody responded to one of our earlier pods.
G: And what was the name of the chap who-who wrote in?
J: César Augusto Souza Correa. Piloto. This pod’s for you!
G: Try saying that after a few beers!
J: I believe he flies with Latam.
G: Latam, ok.
J: Latam. So, anyway he wrote in and replied to one of our previous pods. I think it was pod number 2 about expressions.
G: Great. That’s fantastic that he wrote in.
J: And it was explicitly about our one expression that we used – puta que pariu.
G: Ah, yes. He wasn’t complaining, I hope?
J: No, well, he was giving tips.
G: Did he use any of the, er, swear words we used?
J: No. Let me just play back a little bit of what he said…
César: Vocês falaram sobre uma expressão. Você falou sobre ‘puta que pariu’. E você lembrou de semelhança com ‘son of a bitch’. Mas ‘son of a bitch’ é ‘filho de puta’, neh? Um xingamento. Você tá xingando alguem. ‘Puta que pariu’ é uma expressão de espanto, de assusto, e significa aconteceu algo que não era para acontecer. Algo absurdo. Porque é bem isso aí. ‘Puta que pariu’ – a puta pariu. Putas não deveriam parir, neh? O que vai acontecer com o bebé agora? De quem é o pai? Ou seja, uma coisa muito ruim, neh? A puta não deveria parir. Então ‘puta que pariu’ quer dizer – ‘Nossa! Que merda! Como é que isso aconteceu? O que loucura é isso aí? Então, não é uma expressão muito forte, assim do que um palavrão. Mas não é… Bem, muitos tons abaixo de filho de puta. Porque filho de puta é um xingamento direto, exatamente como ‘son of a bitch.’
J: What do you think, Gee? Is he, er, in his assumption?
G: I think it’s amazing that he said, um, that um, ladies in her position shouldn’t be giving birth! And I think that’s…that’s lovely. I think his point is well made though, and thank you to him for making it.
J: Ok, but now I would like to return to respond to that is that the way that I use ‘son of a bitch’ is not necessarily limited to that, let’s say the xingamento, because you can direct it to either towards someone or just say it, kinda, in the…in the context of the day.
G: In ex…in exasperation when you see something that you really don’t like very much, maybe?
J: Well, I-I can give you an example, and this actually happened to me. I…One time I stepped on a nail – an old rusty nail – and it…and it went through my foot.
G: That’s never good.
J: And I said – ‘son of a bitch!’
J: Of course, I wasn’t actually saying it to anybody, I was just expressing my frustration with having the nail…
G: Or to the nail, no?
J: But the nail it’s-it’s not a person, so…
G: No, no. So I guess that’s the key difference, then. Whether we are directing it at somebody, or whether we’re just making an exclamation out of exasperation, or whatever.
G: So today I believe we have our usual sections, and we have an interview?
J: Yes. Today we-we have the pleasure of talking to Carlos Marinho.
G: Ah, José’s son. Yes, now I remember!
J: José’s son, yes, José Mourinho.
J: Ah, wonderful. Anyway, he’s in fashion and he’s going to explain what he does.
G: Ah, maybe he can get us tickets for the next, er, Spurs game too?
G: So we’re going to start with ‘What Caught My Eye’. Jay, wha-what did you see in the news this week?
J: Well, actually, this week I have some very positive news, and it lines up perfectly with what we were talking about last pod.
G: And what were we talking about last pod? I’m not sure.
J: Well last pod, we talked about the Selic…
G: Ah, yes.
J: …that the Selic was going down and that was a good thing for the economy.
J: Anyway, I have, let’s say, confirmation…
J: …that at least one thing was-was correct. Er…
G: At least one?
J: At least one.
J: Brazil’s Central Bank raised its 2020 Gross Domestic Product growth forecast to 2.2%, er, in its quarterly inflation report from 1.8% previously. So, they’re going up point-four percent.
G: So that’s 2.2% for the full year of 2019, is it?
J: Yes. Growth.
G: For 2020. So the forecast for the full year is 2.2% now?
J: Yes. That’s quite positive.
G: That’s a huge jump.
J: Yes, i-if you consider that we were in economic recession for the past, I don’t know how many years…
J: …thi-this is very positive.
G: That was point-eight percent a month ago. That’s a big jump.
J: Yes, yes. So it’s great.
G: That sounds good for next year, especially when the, er, the reforms start to take place.
J: Yes, and hopefully, we, er, now I really think we need to talk to that economist!
G: We need to get him in. I will, I will get onto that.
G: I’m gonna to pull him by his ears until he gets in here.
J: Ok. So that’s my news from Brazil.
G: Alright, great.
J: Well, what did you have?
G: Good news is always welcome. Actually, I have a question, once again.
J: You’re just full of questions, aren’t you?
G: I’m full of questions. Y-you’re a man who travels on the road. How do you feel about, um, speed cameras? Have you been caught by the speed cameras much?
J: Those things drive me crazy! In fact, I have so many problems related to speed cameras.
G: So if you had the power to abolish all speed cameras, would you abolish them?
J: Erm. I would’ve…I would abolish all the ones that affect my direct route to work.
G: Ah right – the ones that you’re going to take!
G: Me too.
J: I think in general it’s a good idea, but just not for me!
G: Yes. Anyhow, Bolsonaro obviously didn’t think they were a good idea because, back in August, he – I say Bolsonaro like, like I know him – he’s our President…erm…
G: Jair Bolsonaro.
J: El Jefe!
G: Yes. He decided, anyway, that it wasn’t fair that the police should operate mobile speed cameras.
G: So in August…
J: He-he considered it unfair?
G: He considered it…well, the reasons were a little bit obscure, actually. The official reason as to why they were suspended in August was that they…he wanted to avoid ‘distortion of the educational character’ – which is an interesting phrase.
J: How does that relate to speeding?
G: Well the idea, I think, is that, um, he felt that these mobile cameras were being used just to collect money from the…from the motorist.
J: Ah, ok. In essence they are.
G: So, it was a form of taxation because, clearly, the motorist is not aware they’re coming because they are not fixed – they’re mobile.
G: And therefore we’re more likely to get caught by them.
J: Hmm. But he’s in favor of the…of the fixed cameras?
G: So he…he didn’t have a problem so much with the fixed cameras but he outlawed the mobile ones…
G: …which you sometimes see, those little cameras there, or sometimes you see the police guy with the tripod.
J: Well, sure. I can imagine the police weren’t so happy with this.
G: So, um, well you can ask why he did it. I mean it sounds to me like a populist measure, you know. It’s a way of making everybody happy – we can…you know…we can drink and drive, we can speed, we can do what we like, and…
J: Yes, until New Years comes around and everybody has accidents.
G: …and then we can vote for Bolsonaro again.
J: There you go.
G: Yes. Yes, of course there are safety considerations. Anyhow, there was a legal challenge and this week, this policy’s been reversed. So now the police are once again able to deploy these mobile speed cameras.
J: So but how is that possible? Bolsonaro, he outlaws something and then a week later…
G: Well, the-the legal challenge has basically overturned it.
J: Oh, ok. Ok.
G: In fact, he also tried to outlaw the purchase or…or to stop the purchase of radar – fixed radar equipment too. He said – ‘no, we don’t want to spend any more money on these fixed cameras. Let’s cancel that order.’
J: I can imagine there’s quite a few, erm, municipalities that are not going to be happy with that!
G: So I think were…they’ve kind of agreed a compromise where they’re gonna buy 1140 of these new fixed cameras.
G: So, I guess there is a bit of a, erm, a little bit of a dis…a…tension between people who want the cameras and people who don’t. Um, but on-on balance it looks like they’re going to be around. So we can’t yet go speeding down Marginal Pinheiros at 200km an hour without getting a ticket.
J: Not-not yet but who knows? Ok.
G: So, that was my, er…that was my Brazilian news this week.
J: Gee, I have a little…s…couple of questions for you now.
G: Er, ok. I’ll do my best.
J: Gee, what’s the most you’ve ever…actually ever paid for bananas?
G: Oh, I would say I’ve paid probably around £1.50 for a banana.
J: What if you were to see a banana taped to the wall?
G: Erm, which wall?
J: A wall in an art gallery.
G: Oh, in an art gallery? Ok.
G: Um, I might find it interesting. It depends what other art’s on display, I guess.
J: There was an art show – Miami Beach, Florida.
J: And the artist, Maurizio Cattelan, produced an artwork there. It was called “Comedian”.
J: And what he did was, he took a banana and he duct-taped it – he taped it to a wall.
G: So this is a banana called ‘Comedian’. So may…maybe cos comedians use the banana skin to get laughs?
G: When the person steps on it and falls over and…
J: And then people think that’s funny?
G: Well, yeah, I know it’s a bit of a cruel joke but it’s traditional.
J: Ah, but it’s a joke. Ok. This is the same artist that also produced a gold-covered toilet for Donald Trump.
G: Ah, that was the one that was stolen, wasn’t it?
J: That was stolen. Do you remember the value of that?
G: Arh, must have been half a million or something like that.
J: Five million dollars, and it was stolen.
G: Wow. Did they find it?
J: Not that I know of.
G: So the gold got flushed away, eh?
J: The gold got flushed away.
J: Would you ever consider paying money for this banana? Now remember, it’s not just a banana. This is the banana because it was made by a famous artist. It has a name. It has a purpose. It has a-a concept, an idea. The banana is just the tool to show his idea, right? How much would you pay for this banana?
G: Erm, if it was a regular banana, there I would pay £1.50 perhaps.
J: What? Are you serious? But that’s the same price you would pay for your normal store-bought banana! This is artwork! It’s an art-banana! You can’t pay the same price for an art-banana. In this particular case was an art buyer that actually had bought that banana for $120,000.
G: My goodness, that’s great! I think I’m gonna become an artist. I think that’s fantastic.
G: What a…what a…what a plan. What a scam!
J: I dunno. Fantastic, isn’t it?
G: Sounds a great investment. My…the thing is, it’s perishable, isn’t it?
J: I don’t know why he did this, but ok, he-he did this.
G: Alright, so maybe they preserved it in some way.
J: Anyway, my story does not end there. There was a…a Russian comedian called David Datuna.
J: He went to that particular art exhibition in Miami Beach. He saw the banana on the wall…
J: …and while everybody was taking selfies with that thing, he went up to the wall, took the banana and ate it in front of everybody.
G: Well, maybe he was hungry?
J: Why…that’s what… He says his performance was called ‘Hungry Artist.’
G: Alright. And I guess he made zero from that performance, probably?
J: He, he…so I can only…
G: This is the same guy that had the toilet stolen, ok.
J: It’s the same guy that had the toilet stolen. He had his banana eaten as well!
G: Yes. And he probably got the banana…he could probably only afford a banana after having the, er, the money he spent on that gold toilet…
G: …wasted, no?
J: So, unfortunately, the buyer of the said banana, he actually never got to enjoy the banana himself.
G: Oh…well-was he…he was planning to eat it, was he? No. I guess not.
J: No. I don’t know.
G: He paid that much for it…he probably just wanted…
J: He’d just paid $120,000 I don’t know what he was planning on doing with that.
J: But he never got the chance to use it. And because it was sold for $120,000, everybody wanted to take a selfie with this thing because it’s...come on!
G: So, another banana wouldn’t do then? If they just bought another banana to replace the original and put a bit of duct-tape on it and…
J: That would…that would be…
G: …got the artist to sign the new banana.
J: But that would be a banana. That would not be the banana.
G: Ah, it’s true. Yes. The art-world, eh?
J: It’s the art-world. So anyway that’s, er, kind of my story.
G: This reminds me of a ‘Banksy’, actually. Did you hear about the Banksy called, um…?
J: Who’s Banksy? Sorry.
G: Banksy’s a British artist.
G: And he’s known for his street art.
J: For his street art.
G: And he…and he had a piece that was in auction and it was called something like ‘Now You See It…’ and after it was sold for something like a million pounds, he activated by remote control a device to chew up the actual picture.
J: I remember this! I-I-I saw…I remember that. He was the one that did that?
G: He was the one who did that. And, unfortunately for him, it-i-it broke down halfway through! So half of it got chewed up and half of it didn’t. Anyway, so the art was actually more valuable once it was chewed up and been activated than it had been even before it was sold! So…
J: Of course, it increased the value a lot.
G: So the buyer must have been very happy with that.
J: Oh, my goodness.
G: Yes. Although if you were the guy who did the banana, probably you’d think about giving up and finding something else to do by now, I think!
J: I don’t know. Any…anyway – that’s my…that’s my news for the week.
G: That was a lovely story. I enjoyed that.
J: Thank you.
End of Part 1