Brazilians Abroad - Genoa

Covid concerns, a lockdown love story, a savvy centenarian, and the top 5 most dangerous cosmetic procedures.

PLUS – Gustavo Duarte shares his experiences of adapting to Italy, surviving lockdown and learning Italian the hard way.

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J: Good morning, São Paulo!

G: Alright, good afternoon, everybody! We are back.

J: Good afternoon!

G: This is The Samba Buzz!

J: The Samba Buzz, March 2021.

G: Coming to you all the way from São Paulo!

J: São Paulo, Studio Y. So, how are things today, Gee?

G: Things are, for me, very good. Um, possibly better than for the city as a whole, the way things are going, right now.

J: Yeah. Because, we’ve...recently Doria, the...the governor...er...has said that he’s going to have a state-wide...er...lockdown.

G: Exactly. We’ve got curfew.

J: We got curfew. I think it’s nine o’clock, right? We can’t go outside after nine?

G: I don’t know. I never go out anyway.

J: If you...you can’t... The boogie-man is gonna come and take you away.

G: Exactly.

J: Or give you a fine, at least.

G: He’s not going to take you to the hospital, though.

J: No. And you probably don’t wanna go to the hospital because the chance...of the...the mortality rate in the hospital is much higher than it is out on the street.

G: I am taking extra care with my exercise every day, so I don’t get hit by a car, actually, cos I do not want to go to a hospital.

J: No, yeah. But you do exercise?

G: Well, I try. You wouldn’t believe it if you looked at me, but yes I do.

J: Cos...it’s...it’s.... For some people it is very tempting just to sit at home and order fast food all day but it doesn’t generally help your...your overall health, usually.

G: And it’s nice to get out cos the...the weather’s been good and you see a lot of people walking their dogs, actually. I see a lot of dog-walkers. So, I think a lot of people who own dogs are not actually walking them, right now. Maybe they’re scared or maybe they’re lazy. I’m not quite sure which one it is, actually.

J: Well, in our neighborhood there’s a lot of dog-walkers. In fact, the...the guy who lives above us, that’s his job. That’s all he does is walk other people’s dogs.

G: Wow. Anyhow, what have we got today?

J: Well, today we have an interview with Gustavo from Italy.

G: Huzzah. From Genoa, yes?

J: Yes, from Genoa. He’s a... He’s going to be part of our Brazilians Living Abroad series.

G: Excellent.

J: He’s in Italy.

G: Yes. Sounds interesting.

J: We have some Guru.

G: Good.

J: And what about stories? Do...do you have any stories?

G: I have a story or two. Er...I’m...I’m sure you do.

J: Er, I have a good one.

G: Good!

J: Ok.

G: I’ll look forward to that.

J: So, let’s get cracking!

G: Let’s do it!         

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G: So, Jay, what caught your eye this week?

J: The biggest news out there right now is about the new lockdown and the new coronavirus restrictions. Er, many people are criticizing Bolsonaro right now. There...there...they say he’s not doing a good job of managing the situation. But Bolsonaro, at the moment, he’s...he’s been against the lockdowns basically since Day 1.

G: Yes.

J: Currently, the hospitals are running at about 99%...er...occupancy. So they’re completely full.

G: They are not...they are pretty full, yes.

J: Yes.

G: Even here in São Paulo. Even the best ones.

J: In terms of numbers of...of...Brazil is responsible for about 10% of the global deaths.

G: In total, or just currently?

J: In total. In total.

G: Since the beginning, then, yeah?

J: Since the beginning. So, the leader has to make a decision. Is he going to shut down the entire country? And then how do you pull it out? How do you get Brazil going again if you shut down the entire country, because, I mean, nothing’s for free. So, are they go..going to continue to print money? Or do they let the economy run and just say, “Well, these are casualties of war, basically.”

G: Well, I...I th...

J: Well, there...there... Trump had a similar choice in the United States.

G: I think that’s one of the problems – is there hasn’t been a coordinated federal approach, has there?

J: No.

G: It’s been left to the individual governors and states to decide what they wish to do.

J: Yeah. So, it...it...it’s been a mess.

G: So, I...I can’t see...I can’t see, suddenly, the federal government stepping in and saying, “This is what we’re going to do now.” It’s just probably not going to happen.

J: It’s easy to criticize but, if the choice were mine, what would I have done differently? I mean, you can vaccinate a lot of people but to get everything coordinated, that’s...that’s a big problem in Brazil.

G: Well, I think the main thing that could have been done differently was when Pfizer approached at the end of last year offering 70 million vaccines...um...we should have accepted and said, “Thank you very much.”

J: Of course. That...that’s...that’s silly, but we...then again we...

G: And that...that’s lives saved, right there.

J: Well, but again, we do not know the reason that they refused that.

G: Well, we know their explanation for the refusal was.

J: But yeah, yeah, but between the explanation and the reality we don’t really know what...what the deal.

G: No, no, we never know what reality is here.

J: No.

G: I think we’re about 4% vaccinated now, no?

J: Yes, it’s...it’s...it’s almost...it’s almost nothing.

G: Yes.

J: And, let’s say, economically, the...the situation is such that Brazil is predominantly driven by agriculture. And recently Bolsonaro has made some questionable decisions, er...namely to fol...er...to fire the...the director of Petrobras.

G: Yes.

J: Bolsonaro, let’s say, fired the guy because what it sounded like was going to happen was that the truckers were going to strike, just before harvest. And then imagine all of the millions of...of Reais that were going to be lost with that. That...that would be an enormous economic influence.

G: Right. Of course.

J: So, it doesn’t sound like Bolsonaro really had a choice in that.

G: Yes.

J: I mean, of course, he’s rude, and let’s say...

G: Well, I don’t know. I mean, it’s...um...the key thing is that... I mean, the independence of the board of Petrobras is key. Be...and the whole idea is to prevent politicians from putting their hand in the till, basically.

J: Yeah, but he did it anyway.

G: So, and now he’s done it anyway and, of course, the stock market responded by crashing!

J: Yes. So, and that...and that was...that was after our interview with Tales.

G: It was. Yes, we’ll have to get him back again. We’ll have to get him back every week, the way we’re going.

J: Give him...a no...a new...another update on our...our situation.

G: Exactly.

J: Nothing is done in a vacuum. It’s all linked together somehow.

G: Well, I...in an ideal world you’d have a government that actually had a strategy and made their strategy clear and then they implemented their strategy in a coherent way, and, unfortunately we don’t have that, I mean.

J: No.

G: But th..the President doesn’t even have a political party, right now, so he’s...

J: Yeah.

G: He’s kind of isolated at the moment. He’s a one-man band with a one-man agenda, you know?

J: So, we’re kind of all in a vacuum at the moment.

G: It’s all up in the air, yes. Time to move on to something more cheerful, I think.

J: Ok. Here we go.

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G: Well, after all that talk about Coronavirus and death and negative economic news, I thought we’d have a love story. How about that?

J: A love story?

G:  So, this is a love story between a British girl – a Welsh girl actually. She certainly describes herself as a romantic. She’s always liked romantic movies and she’s a bit of a comedienne. She...I don’t know what she does, actually. I think she might be one of those internet comediennes, you know.

J: Ok. So, like a funny romantic.

G: Yes. And her name’s Lorna. And she decided – after a series of romantic relationships that didn’t work out – she was going to take some time off from dating, and she took a whole year where she didn’t actually date anybody.

J: Ok.

G: And when she came back looking to date again, it was March 2020 and, of course, everything went into lockdown and now she discovered she was on her own, at home, and...

J: And she had no-one...

G: And she had no-one...

J: ...except for her gerbil.

G: ...except for, probably, a family pet or something, yes.

J: Ok.

G: So she started with some dating apps and that didn’t really work out very well, these dating apps. I don’t even know what there are on the market these days but, you now, how it goes...

J: Yeah, ok.

G: So after three months of that she gave up, and then, she happened to come across a Brazilian chap, actually.

J: Ok.

G: From Rio. An engineer.

J: From Rio.

Tannoy: “23201901 – you have visits.”     

J: Ok.

G: And she invited him for a Friday drink over Zoom. So, this is how you date, these days. You have a Zoom call...

J: A Zoom drink.

G: ...on a Friday night, and you both have a drink, and...

J: Now...now...now that’s actually...that’s kind of a funny date. I like that idea.

G: Yes. This is how they do it in the lockdown.

J: Now...now I can’t say that because I have a wife. But...er...ok, the idea’s nice.

G: So, they had a...a nice Zoom chat. And he was an hour late, apparently. She couldn’t quite work out why he would be an hour late for a Zoom call but...

J: But that’s a typical Carioca characteristic.

G: Exactly.

J: They are late for everything.

G: But they really hit it off. And they had lots of texts and phone calls and finally they decided they were going to meet up.

J: Ok. But where? In Brazil or in...in Wales?

G: In Bristol, actually, which is close to Wales. It’s quite close to where I grew up actually. It’s close to The Shire.

J: Ah, that’s close to the airport, isn’t it?

G: Er, no, not particularly, no. It’s very close to The Shire.

J: Why would anybody want to meet up in Bristol?

G: Bristol is a lovely city.

J: Oh, ok. Is it on...is it on the sea?

G: It’s the British Silicon Valley, actually. That’s where all the tech companies are.

J: Oh.

G: And a lot of the, sort of, incubator companies. It...it’s sort of a...

J: Yeah, but it doesn’t sound very dating friendly.

G: No, it’s...it’s...er...nice.

J: Oh.

G: It didn’t use to be dating friendly because the pubs used to close at 10.30 but I think they open till 11 these days.

J: Ok, so...so then they went out and had a real drink?

G: So, they actually finally met up, in Bristol, and that went quite well. So, they arranged to meet again the second day and they went for a picnic by the river and suddenly he turned to her and he said – “Lorna, will you marry me?”

J: On the second date?!

G: On the second date, yes. She’d only met him the day before. And she says...

J: This...this is very Carioca.

G: She says, “Definitely.” And he says, “Oh, thank you. Let’s go for another swim.” And that was their romantic moment. And, a few days later, within that week, he...he moved in to her f...her apartment, her flat.

J: Was the guy unemployed?

G: Erm, I don’t know. It...it just describes him as an engineer.

J: I...I mean, it’s just...it’s just this...engineer of what? Come on.

G: Exactly. And they’re still together and they’re planning to get married but, of course, with the lockdown, they don’t know when they are going to get married.

J: Ok.

G: So, um, they are waiting to see how things are going to pan out. And, so, obviously, it would be nice for his family to be able to come over from Brazil to England...

J: Right.

G: ...for the wedding but, of course, at the moment the only place you can fly is about Africa, I think.

J: Ok.

G: Because all flights from Brazil are not being accepted right now.

J: Yeah, that’s at...that’s actually not a good place to leave from right now. So, his family is in lockdown.

G: So, we’ll have to wait and see how this pans out. But that...that’s my story today.

J: Well, that’s a very interesting love story.

G: A little love story, yes.

J: So...so how...but just a silly question. How long have they actually known each other?

G: Well, they...

J: About 4 weeks?

G: They first had their Zoom date, probably about nine months ago.

J: Ah, so it...it’s been a little while.

G: And then they met in... They actually met in November, I think.

J: So, it...it’s been more than one month, at least?

G: Yes.

J: Oh, ok, that’s...

G: They’ve known each other on and off, but he actually proposed to her the second day after they met. And she accepted.

J: Wow.

G: So think of all that material that she’s got for her stand-up routine.

J: Boy, I tell you, that’s gonna give her a lot of material.

G: Yes.

J: Even for us!

G: Exactly. So, we’ll have to wait and see how that goes. I will keep you informed...

J: Ok.

G: ...whether they get married and what happened next.

J: Nice story. Like it.

G: So, what else do you have for us today?

J: Ok, my next story is actually kind of...a...a continuation of the previous pod, where I was discussing the most dangerous plastic surgery in the world.

G: Ok.

J: And wha...what I’ve done is...that...that was the Brazilian butt-lift if you remember.

G: The butt-lift! Yes.

J: Yes, the BBL.

G: Yes, the butt-lift.

J: I’ve done these in order that I think were interesting, so not necessarily in severity or danger but just things that I thought were...were...er...interesting. Erm, my top five. The tummy tuck. Number two is the cheek fat removal.

G: Hang on. The tummy tuck sounds like one of those...um...diving events, doesn’t it? Where you do a double tummy tuck and plunge into the water!

J: A double tummy tuck. It sounds like that but it is actually to...to remove the excess skin that sometimes people have either by being obese or because of pregnancy or something like that.

G: Or drinking too much beer, like me.

J: Or just drinking too much beer.

G: May...maybe...that’s...I might investigate that one, actually.

J: Yeah, the tummy tuck, anyway... Remember, I’m telling you not to do this!

G: Oh, ok.

J: Number one, the tummy tuck. Two, the cheek fat removal. Number three, butt implants. This is different than the Brazilian butt lift.

G: Ok.

J: It’s not...it’s not the same.

G: This is where you want to spy on your neighbor. You put a butt implant, and you’ve got a microphone!

J: The Brazilian butt lift is when you...you...you extract and inject.

G: Ok.

J: And this is just when you implant. Ok? So, this is different. Er, then we have gastric balloons.

G: Yes.

J: That’s number four. And the last one is the donut breast lift. And that made my list because I like donuts and I like breasts. But I’ve never thought about a donut breast lift.

G: So, explain to the uninitiated what a donut breast lift is please because...

J: Well, ok, let’s start with that. So, with a donut breast lift, basically excess skin is cut out by lifting the nipple up and...

G: Alright. No, let’s move onto the next one! I’ve heard enough. That’s enough thank you.

J: Ok.

G: I...I assume it is only the women that get these done, is it? Or do men get some of these done as well?

J: No, there...there’s no gender involved in this. So, you’re free at your own...you know...

G: What was the second one?

J: Er...er..that was actually number five.

G: Oh, ok.

J: Er, I’ll go...I’ll go back to the tummy tuck, and that’s dangerous because...er, let’s say, some of those tummy tucks involve liposuction, and most surgeons stopped that years ago because of the risks associated with liposuction around your stomach walls. Er, the second one was the cheek fat removal. And if you go to Instagram right now, that’s a little bit more popular. Basically people with fatter cheeks or bigger cheeks, they want to reduce their cheek size.

G: Ok.

J: And they go to the insides of their cheek and they have fat sucked out, through that.

G: Ooh. Horrible!

J:  And...the danger here is... actually, it...it’s quite a safe procedure, but the danger is that if you already don’t have a lot of cheeks, later you appear hollow, like a...like a ghost, or something like that. They suck out too much.

G:  Well, yes. Also, I mean, it generally tends to reflect your overall weight ratio, doesn’t it? I mean, if you’re overweight, then your cheeks will fill out.

J: Yeah.

G: So, if you lose weight, then your cheeks will slim down again.

J: Yeah. But some pe...

G: Without all the goo and mess.

J: Right. But some people just have chunky cheeks. You know.

G: And without the risk of going hollow, too!

J: Ok, so, er...butt implants. ‘Why is that dangerous?’ you might ask. Because there’s a very high risk of infection with butt implants. In addition, the implants are not really fixed to anything. So, it’s possible that your butt kind of shifts around from time to time.

G: Yes. Especially, yes, when you are cycling, or something, yes.

J: What a terror it would be if your butt, let’s say, shifted to your abdominal region, because...

G: Or to your groin. That would be very painful, wouldn’t it?

J: Oh, I don’t wanna think about that! Eesh!

G: Yes.

J: The, after...

G: You don’t want your butt back to front, that’s for sure. Would be very embarrassing.

J: So, after the butt implants, then we have the gastric balloons.

G: That...that sounds the nastiest of the lot, actually. A gastric balloon I definitely do not want.

J: So, a gastric balloon th...the idea is to make you feel less hungry.

G: Ok.

J: So, instead of, let’s say, controlling your urge to eat, they just stuff something inside of your stomach so that you just basically can’t eat. Er, and the danger here is that balloons can er...slowly erode through the stomach wall.

G: Ok.

J: And the only way to...to remove that is with an en...endoscopy. So, they go in through your mouth and then they suck out that...that balloon.

G: Have you ever heard of the expression – ‘If it’s not broke, don’t fix it’?

J: Yeah. But a lot of people don’t feel like that.

G: Cor, dear. It sounds horrible.

J: So, anyway, and then...then the last one was the donut breast lift, which you don’t want to hear about.

G: No, no, I don’t wanna hear about the donut breast lift. Definitely not. So, which one is the most lethal, then? That is the donut breast lift, is it?

J: Well, actually...

G: Or the most dangerous?

J: Well, actually, the most dangerous are the butt implants. And remember, this...this goes for both genders.

G: This takes us back to the...the last pod, doesn’t it, with the...?

J: It does, so, I mean, you...you can be...

G:  That’s when the lady had a problem, right?

J: Yep.

G: Yes. I imagine some of those procedures are quite expensive too. You could actually spend it on something more enjoyable, really, couldn’t you?

J: Like donuts!

G: Like donuts.

J: There you go.

G: Excellent. Thank you for sharing that with us. I feel fully enlightened on the world of plastic surgery. Yet my next story is about a Brazilian lady, actually, who goes by the name of...

J: Is she romantic?

G: She is romantic, I think that’s fair to say.

J: Ok.

G: I’m on...I’m on positive news stories this week!

J: Ok, good.

G: And she... Her name is Maria Cardoso, and she is from...

J: Is she a cook?

G: I don’t know. Probably, yes.

J: Ah, ok.

G: And she’s from Promissão, which is a place in São Paulo. I don’t know exactly where it is in São Paulo state, but that’s the name of the town.

J: Promissão?

G: Yes. And she’s a great-grandmother. She was born on the third of November 1919. So, she’s a 101 years old.

J: Holy cats.

G: And, as I say, she’s a great-grandmother and she likes wine and she likes beef and she likes to eat well and drink well and she decided that she would like independence. She doesn’t want to be dependent on somebody else to provide these things for her.

J: The beef and the wine and the beer?

G: Yes, cos, you know, at her time of life, I guess, you know, she’s...financial circumstances, I’m not really sure what they are but she likes the good life, and she decided she was going to apply for a job.

J: Ok.

G: So, she got her grand-daughter to help her with her resume and she sent it off to a wine company, and she applied for the job of Digital Influencer...for the wine company.

J: A hundred and one years old, digital influencer?

G: And they sent...they sent off her resume inside one of those frozen meat trucks apparently, that was leaving the town and that was heading in the direction of...of the big city. And the company – the HR lady who received her...her resume was utterly delighted that she would have written and applied for the job...

J: Right.

G: ...and she said so on the, you know, social media, and that generated a very positive buzz.

J: Right.

G: And less than a month later she got the job.

J: Holy...that’s a fantas...oh, amazing!

G: So, now she is a digital influencer and they send her wines to sample.

J: Right.

G: And then her family video her tasting the wines and giving her opinion. And then they send back the video to the company to...um...to do with what they will. I guess they publish them on social media and dear old Maria’s opinion is now...um...sought after. So, 101 and guzzling wine!

J: Fantastic. So, wh...where can I find her on social media?

G: I...I imagine she wouldn’t be difficult to find. Her name is Maria Cardoso and she’s from Promissão, and she’s a digital influencer.

J: That’s a great...great story.

G: So, yes.

J: Working hard at 101!

G: And apparently she’s received lots of...um...dozens of bottles of wine from well-wishers too. So, she’s...she’s having a right old time with it now!

J: So now she’s basically drunk the entire day!

G: Yes, drunken old sot. 101. But she’s gonna die happy. That’s...

J: Ah, great story man!

G: So that’s it. I’m...I’m not having anybody die in my stories anymore.

J: No. Everybody died in my story!

G: We’re...um...we’re gonna have positive information, positive news stories from now on.

J: Ah, the feel...the feel-good pod!

G: The feel-good pod, yes. Romance and happy hundred-year-olds.

J: And...er...donuts.

G: And donuts. Without the surgery!

End of Part One

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