Common English Errors
Full Transcript - Episode 20
Brazilian wine joy, and the hazards of injecting fungi and enjoying a few fun cake designs when no-one is looking...
PLUS Jay and Gee discuss common English linguistic errors and even throw in a few (cringeworthy) jokes.
J: I would like to give a little bit (sic) of tips in the beginning about Instagram, because we are now up and running on Insta.
G: Tell me what Instagram is again.
J: It’s a social media platform.
G: Oh, good. We can take over from Trump, because he’s been banned from all of his, hasn’t he?
J: He’s been banned from Twitter...I...and Facebook, and... well, basically social media he’s been banned from. I think Instagram not, though. He can still take photos of himself.
G: But we have not. We have not been banned?
G: Good. Let’s use it!
J: No, we are just starting, which could be equally dangerous. I don’t know.
G: Good afternoon, São Paulo.
J: Good afternoon, São Paulo!
G: And, Happy New Year!
J: Yes. Happy 2021. This is our first pod of 2021.
G: It is. Huzzah!
J: It’s actually also our pod number 20.
G: It’s also our twentieth pod, it is.
J: So, it’s kind of, like, an anniversary pod for us. I mean...
J: Kind of.
G: We got to twenty a little slower than we had probably anticipated.
J: Yeah, there was something called a pandemic that came through and kind of screwed up that just a little bit.
J: But anyway, we’re here.
G: We are back and it’s a new year and everything is bright and today, actually tomorrow, is the last day of Donald Trump’s presidency!
G: Huzzah, huzzah! And, of course, one of the things I’m going to miss about Donald Trump is that we will no longer get to see the Baby Blimp. Do you remember the Baby Blimp?
J: No. I don’t even know what the Baby Blimp is. What’s that?
G: When he came to London...um...there was a bit of controversy, actually, because he wasn’t very welcome in London first time he came, and he doesn’t like the Mayor of London, whose name is Mr. Khan.
J: Ah, the Indian.
G: The Indian chap, yes.
G: And, you know, Donald Trump likes to pick fights with random people around the world...
J: Right, and...and specifically Muslims and minorities in the United States.
G: So, the...er...in protest at Trump’s visit, they created this enormous orange, angry baby with the Trump hairstyle, holding this...um...cell-phone...
J: I...I never saw this.
G: And they hung it over the Houses of Parliament!
J: Ah, we’ve gotta get a picture of that somewhere. I...I never saw that.
G: All six-point-one meters of it.
G: It was a huge success, and now it’s being retired to the Museum of London, so...
J: Oh, that’s...
G: ...as Donald is gone, it’s no longer required, unfortunately.
J: Well, I will say, though, for...for our particular pod, he gave us a lot of really good things to talk about. I mean, if you think about all the stories that kind of involved him in one way or the other – that’s fantastic. We talked about Route 66. We had...er...the...the fact that Donald Trump is also...in English that can mean...er...farting.
G: That’s true, yes.
J: We...we talked about the golden toilet.
G: Goodness knows what the blimp was filled with, eh?
J: Yeah, lots of good stuff. So, we’re going to have to find something else to give us good material but...ok, in that sense, he’ll be missed.
G: I’ll be feeling safer, but...um...in some aspects it will be less fun, yes.
J: So, Gee, what do you have – or what do we have this week?
G: What do we have this week? Erm, this week we’re going to something a little different. We are going to talk about some common errors that we hear with English.
J: With English. And some funny errors as well.
G: And possibly some funny ones. And I imagine we are going to have some ‘What Caught My Eye’...
J: And so...so this week we will probably not have our guru, because it is kind of incorporated into our main message.
G: And maybe we’ll have something new at the end – a little surprise something at the end.
J: Oh, I like surprises.
G: So, let’s roll!
J: Let’s go!
G: Brazilian wine sales – in 2020, as you may imagine, a lot of people spent more time at home than typically they would.
G: And – I don’t know about you but, um, – if you are like me, then probably you enjoy the odd bottle of wine or two and, apparently, I wasn’t alone. Um, there were others in Brazil also.
J: Well, I don’t know. I wasn’t with you. Were...were you alone? Does your wife know about this?
G: In my home, I was alone, yes.
J: Oh, ok.
G: Because I was self-isolating. But I was not alone in the habit of actually drinking more wine. Well, apparently, in Brazil, last year wine sales were up by 31%.
J: That’s great!
G: Um, they were up from 500 million liters...sorry, they were up to 500 million liters from the previous year’s total of 385 million liters.
J: Well, that...that’s good for all the wine growers in the South.
G: And, even better, Brazilian wines also increased their market share because, um, with the dollar being so high...
J: Right. The..they became very expensive.
G: ...erm...they became a bit more appealing in terms of price-benefit.
G: And...um...they got a 3% increase in market share. So, erm, the wine in Brazil is actually looking up. Um, obviously the main consumption was during the winter time, as you’d expect, and we are now up to an average of 2.78 liters per person per year.
J: 2.7...2.87 liters of wine per person per year?
G: Per person in Brazil. So, it’s actually not very much compared to what I drink, anyway. If you compare that to Portugal, for example, they drink 62 liters per person.
J: Holy cats! Seriously?
G: So, they drink...um, yeah...they drink, basically, 30 bottles for every bottle we drink here.
J: They’re just guzzling that stuff down, aren’t they?
G: That’s even more than France, cos France is only 50 liters per person.
J: Fifty? Wow.
G: And the Argentinians are 25, so the Argentinians obviously enjoy their wine quite a bit more but then they live in a colder country, don’t they?
G: So, we don’t have the same profile, because wine is typically a drink you drink in the winter time, isn’t it?
J: Right. In kind of colder climates, it seems. Al...although in Argentina, I did have a couple of wines that were with ice. They...they made like a clerico or a sangria, which is basically either a red or white wine with some fruits and...er...a little bit of...er...ice.
G: So, um, yeah, we’re all drinking more wine and...um...that can only be a good thing!
J: Wow. Great!
G: So, Jay, what caught your eye this week?
J: So, I’m going to talk a little bit about mushrooms!
G: Magic or otherwise?
J: Both. So...er...if you go to the supermarket or if you go to the Japanese market, probably you will encounter a very limited number of mushrooms.
G: Really? I didn’t know.
J: Well, basically, we’re here...it...it seems like what I encounter is basically only shitake and shimeji.
G: You don’t like those, no?
J: No, I like...I like them. They’re actually quite good, but that doesn’t really give...er...a good picture of the total offer of mushrooms that are in the world. Because mushrooms in Brazil and in the world, they’re...they’re just fantastic things.
G: But is...a...is there a shortage?
J: There’s not a shortage of mushrooms. I think there’s a shortage of knowledge of how to use the mushrooms.
G: Ah, ok. So, why are there no...none in the supermarkets, locally?
J: Well, I think people just aren’t...don’t have the habit locally, in Brazil, of eating mushrooms.
G: Ah. That’s what it is. Well, I buy them every week. So, I’m doing my bit.
J: You’re doing your bit, thanks, to...to keep the global ecosystem quite healthy. Let me explain a little bit. What is a magic mushroom? Gee, do you know?
G: I’ve never had a magic mushroom. Erm...rumor has it they are hallucinogenic and they have properties akin to LSD. Which is...um...
J: Right. Well, there...there’s actually... That’s a very interesting subject because some people say that they are similar to LSD in the...in the...in the sense that it, let’s say, kind of transports you to a different place. Those are the psilocybin mushrooms.
J: So, very specific, within the mushroom genre that’s a very specific kind of thing.
G: I’m talking to a mushroom expert here, I can see.
J: No...no, I’m not a mushroom expert. I’ve done some research on the topic.
G: Yes! I’m sure you’ve done some hands-on research, yes!
J: I did live in Holland for a while, so...
G: Ah, that’s true, yes.
J: Yeah, you never know. Anyway...um...but it seems that they also have...mushrooms have a lot of health benefits. However, they also have negative health benefits!
J: Meaning you can actually die from them if you do them incorrectly.
G: So, negative benefits, are they like...um...unknown knowns, and known unknowns and...?
J: Exactly, yes! You understand. There’s the known unknowns that...er, thinking about Donald Rumsfeld.
G: We need Donald Rumsfeld on here to explain these, I think, yes.
J: Yes, we do. In this particular case, erm, in the United States there was a thirty-year-old, thirty-year-old male...
J: And he was a little bit bipolar.
J: So, he was taking the magic mushrooms to help relieve him of this (sic) bipolar symptoms or disorder that he has but what happened was, like...because he’s an American and Americans kind of do crazy things.
J: He decided he wanted to inject the magic mushrooms directly into his blood!
G: Oh dear.
J: And he nearly died. So, what happened? So, when he injected the fungus into his blood, you have to re...realize that fungi don’t really care if they are underwater or not. They can survive – they can grow in...in...in a closed environment. They don’t need oxygen. And it seems that in blood, they do, actually, very well. And they were starting to grow. The mycelium – the roots of the mushrooms – were starting to grow and it was starting to shut down all of his organs.
G: Oh dear. That’s not good at all! That wasn’t the plan.
J: Yeah. So, the guy very nearly killed himself. And this was in the very liberal state of Nebraska. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Nebraska but that’s probably the most...one of the most conservative states in the United States.
G: Ah. No, I haven’t actually. I would struggle to place Nebraska on a map. I know it’s somewhere close to Canada, probably but...
J: It’s...yeah...it’s kind of in the north...middle...a little bit to the left and it’s...it’s cold.
G: Yes. So...
J: Not a lot of people go there! Anyway, so, he was trying to self-treat himself for anxiety and depression with the psilocybin mushrooms.
J: Which can have some good health benefits, but not if you inject it into your blood because then the mushrooms can grow and you can die.
G: So, then they were growing in all of his organs and he was turning into a...a fungal...being I guess?
J: He was turning into a psychedelic mushroom himself.
J: That’s basically it.
G: And then they saved him, somehow?
J: Yeah. Somehow they killed the mycelium. I don’t know exactly what they did.
G: Probably gave him a pill. That’s what they usually do.
J: He survived!
G: So, top tips of what not to do when you have got bipolar problems.
J: With magic mushrooms, yes. So, Gee, what...what do you have for us this week?
G: Well, I’ve got a story that relates a little bit to your story a few weeks ago in Finland. Do you remember your cake story?
J: Oh, the toilet-paper cake story, yes! I remember that.
G: Exactly, and it also ties into something that we were talking about recently about women’s rights, and touching dead bodies and...
J: So, women’s rights to use toilet paper?
G: Well, let me explain.
J: Oh. Ok, I’m curious now.
G: So, in Egypt – we’re going to Egypt now.
J: Ok. Let’s got to Egypt.
G: In Egypt, there is a club called the Gezira Sports Club.
J: Ok. What kind of sports do they do?
G: Well, it’s one of those sort of social clubs, actually.
J: Oh, ok – so kind of those like...similar to like the...I don’t know. What do they actually do at these social clubs?
G: A bit like the athletic clubs you have here.
J: Ok. Ok.
G: So, you got...you got sports you can play. You can go there for afternoon tea. It’s all very, um, traditional. It was established by the British army during the nineteenth century.
J: Right. So, it’s very traditional, very respected?
G: And it’s a very exclusive club, yes.
J: Of course it’s exclusive! Has to be.
G: Yes. So, erm, anyhow, on this occasion there was a little group of ladies – about 12 ladies in their fifties and sixties – and they were gonna have their afternoon tea, or whatever they do. And they ordered some cakes, and some pastries.
J: Ok. So, kind of, like, an English-style club?
G: It is. It is very...very civilized cos it was introduced by the English.
J: Because they...they were colonized – well, not colonized – they were, let’s say, ‘taken over’ by the English for a while, weren’t they?
G: No, they were, kind of, colonized by the British for a while, yeah. So, um, anyhow, so their...their cakes arrived and they were absolutely delighted to discover that all their cakes and pastries were shaped in the form of genitalia – male and female genitalia!
J: And this was what – something that they wanted?
G: Um, no. Actually, they didn’t order these. It was actually designed for a la... a group of bachelorettes who...um...should have received these cakes. But the...the ladies were so delighted, they took lots of pictures and they put them on social media and it didn’t go down very well.
J: I can imagine their husbands weren’t exactly appreciative of this.
G: Well, I don’t know about their husbands but the government didn’t like it very much.
J: The government!?
G: No. The government does not approve of...um...that type of behavior, especially being on social media.
J: By...you...there was just a cake and a pastry and stuff like that, and a...er...
G: They called it ‘an assault on the value system and a crude abuse of society.’
J: Oh, my god. So...so, the...the women were charged with crimes, or something?
G: Well, the baker has been arrested. She has been released on bail of about $320.
J: So, it was...it was a female baker?
G: It was a female baker, as well, which just made things worse, of course.
J: Sounds like she might have been a frustrated baker.
G: And, the ladies, the dear old ladies in their fifties and sixties – well, they are not that old, I guess – fifties and sixties...erm...
G: ...they could also be prosecuted too, by the government.
J: Oh, my goodness.
G: So, the ministry of sport has been asked to investigate. They will carry out a full investigation. They are going to investigate the club, and how it could happen that these cakes could be delivered to the club – and it’s become a big thing, of course, you know...cos...
J: I guess.
G: We can’t possibly have ladies, you know, enjoying cakes with sexual organs on them, so...um...no, th...then we gotta put a stop to that straightaway.
J: Well, I g...guess, that’s certainly kind of a...a festive occasion you’ll...they’ll never forget.
G: Exactly. So, um, that brightened up their day and has caused a bit of a stir cos actually, as you probably know, it’s quite a conservative sort of place, Egypt.
J: Sure. Sure.
G: And on our list of things that women can and cannot do, erm, enjoying lewd cakes is clearly something that is not permitted.
End of part 1