Pandemonium - Going Viral

Jay & Gee check-in for an update on surviving the corona-virus with some of the whackier pandemic news items.

Meanwhile, special guest Elle makes her debut and explains how five-year-olds fill their time during lockdown.

L: 1...2...3... Welcome to the podcast of Corona-virus!

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J: Good morning São Paulo!

L: Ooh!

G: Welcome!

J: Welcome. Today we have the...the coronas-virus special podcast.

L: Podcast!

J: Podcast, yes. So, as...as you can hear, we have a special guest – a...a guest host, and she is five years old and she is very excited to be participating in her first ever podcast! Yeah?

G: Welcome, Lorena!

L: Yes.

J: And we’ll call you Elle.

L: Ok.

G: Little Elle.

J: Little Elle, yeah.

G: Give ‘em ‘ell.

J: We have...er...at a remote location, we have Gee, is with us today, via Skype.

G: I am here...

J: Yes.

G: ...remotely, isolated. We are safe from each other. This is the most important thing.

J: Yes. We’re maintaining social distancing. I ge...I get...

G: Effectively. Very good social distancing. More than two meters.

J: The virus hasn’t gotten...gotten to us yet, although it has affected production.

G: Yes, for which we apologize.

J: Yes. So, apologies for all our sponsors.

G: A long-overdue edition of The Samba Buzz! Yes.

J: Not a whole lot we could do about that, though.

G: But, we...we’re back!

J: W...well I’d like to turn just a little bit to our special guest, here.

G: Let’s go to the special guest.

J: So, Miss Elle, how do you like staying at home, because you...you used to go to school all the time? You used to go to school every day. Right?

L: Yeah.

J: And do you still go to school?

L: No, because have corona-virus. Now, I need to stay home.

J: You need to stay home?

G: Have you had the corona-virus, Miss Elle?

L: No.

J:  Oh, that’s good.

G: Ah, how do you know? How do you know you haven’t had the virus?

L: Because I...sometimes I go outside and I don’t get coronavirus because I go with gloves and with masks!

G: Gloves and masks, yes.

J: Gloves and masks. Yes, so you don’t have it.

G: Very good. Social distancing – two meters from Mommy and Daddy.

J: Yes. So...so...so what do you do during the day, Miss Elle? W...who takes care of you? If you don’t go to school, who has to take care of you?

L: My dad, and my mom go to works.

J: Yeah?

L: Yeah.

J: They go to work but who stays with you during the day?

L: In the morning?

J: In the morning.

L: My dad.

J: Your dad stays with you?

L: Yeah.

J: And do you think your dad is doing a pretty good job, so far?

L: Hm, yeah.

J: Because they say that...that m...mo...most dads don’t cook very well. Can your dad cook well?

L: Yeah, and my mom too.

J: Yeah? And what’s the favorite thing you like to eat with your mom and dad?

L: Macarrão, potato, rice and beans...brocolli...strawberry.

G: What? No, ice-cream?

J: You don’t like ice-cream?

L: I like ice-cream.

J: And ice-cream, ok. And do you like cinnamon rolls too?

L: Hm-um. Pancakes...

G: Pancakes, cinnamon rolls – it’s all good.

J: B...but who makes all this stuff, hm? Who makes all these pancakes for you?

L: My dad.

J: Your dad sounds like a good cook!

L: Yeah, and my mom too.

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J: So, Miss Elle. What do you like to do as far as activities with...with your Dad or with your Mom? What’s fun to do at home?

L: I like to play ball – balloon with my dad.

J: So, what does your mom do with you then?

L: My mom sometimes play with me. Paint. Play with me sometimes.

J: Does she read books for you to, or do you col...does she color your nails, or anything like that?

L: My mom colors my nails and my mom reads me a book, and I watch TV, and I play pancakes with my dad.

J: How do you play pancakes?

G: Your dad’s just a party guy! He only wants to play, no?

L: Me and my dad play pancakes! Because...

J: I didn’t...I didn’t know that was a sport!

L: But my dad play pancakes with me. It’s really difficult but my dad and me know how (to) play pancakes.

J: So, do you do anything else? Do you do like climb...climb the walls? Or do you do exercises?

L: Yes, I do exercises. I do exercises with my dad and I climb the wall, and I...

G: How...how...how do you climb the wall? Show me how you climb the wall.

L: I climb on the wood. I climb on the wood, have on the wall, and then I go climbing with my feet and my hands.

G: Ah, very good. Like a monkey?

L: Yes. And I sleep in a tent – sometimes my dad and sometimes my mom. But sometimes I sleep alone in the tent.

J: Well, thank you Miss Elle. I like that insight. That was very...very good – very interesting.

L: You’re welcome!

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J: How are your days, er, different now with the...with the whole situation?

G: I go out once a day, actually. It’s...er...the highlight of my day. It’s...um...somewhere I go for a walk, a bit of a jog and I look forward to it, actually. And then I come back and I admire the sunset, and life is okay. We are isolated. We are fine. So far.

J: Ok.

G: And you?

J: Ah, well, it’s... I...I spent...I’ve just spent, I think, 4 weeks at home alone with a rambunctious five-year-old. So, I’m itching to get out and...but it’s very difficult. It’s...

G: Get out and golf, no?

J: Get out an golf, get out and move or walk. As you can hear, I...I have a...my...my...my...

L: Podcast!

J: My role has changed a little bit. My days are a little bit different now because with the social distancing, I no longer can go and...and give classes live. Now, everything has to happen either through...erm...Microsoft Teams or through Skype. What caught my eye in...in my neighborhood – maybe that’s a little bit more relevant because with this whole situation and taking care of my daughter it’s made my...my world actually a little bit... It’s funny because it makes my world a little bit smaller but bigger at the same time – bigger in a sense that I’m constantly looking at what’s happening on a global scale, erm, but smaller in that I’m much more concerned about what’s happening locally, here around me. And...

G: Right. Within two meters!

J: Well, within two meters, or just within the neighborhood here. Just in the neighborhood.

G: Yes.

J: Erm, and what I notice is that in the first 3 weeks the people were relatively calm but the last week, week-and-a-half, things have gotten almost back to normal. I see...

G: I...I’ve noticed a lot more people going back onto the roads and on the streets than they were.

J: Yeah. Yeah. I...I...I will say I see about roughly 50% of the people with masks, so that...that’s definitely higher than it used to be. Er, but not everybody. Not...not by any means. There are people that...that just don’t seem to worry about it too much or just don’t seem too...too concerned.

G: I see a lot of people just standing together chatting, waiting to pick up their partners from the...erm...supermarket where their partners probably work.

J: There was a protest here, just right across from the...er...the alleyway from us. There were people shouting out because...erm...Mendetta was...was fired.

G: Right.

J: And then Bolsonaro put a...put a new health minister in...in place and there were people protesting about that. And there were people on both sides of the aisle on that. It wasn’t...it wasn’t all...er...you know, one way. Er, one of the arguments for opening up was, er, a...a fellow and I won’t say his exact words because he was...he was cursing just a slight bit. But they were....they were saying that in some of the...the smaller communities these people really need relief because they’re...they’re isolated and they’re not able to pay...pay their local bills. I mean they’re people living from paycheck to paycheck. It’s...it’s a tough situation.

G: Yes, and that’s why I...I...I sense that I can’t see this continuing for much longer. I think there’s going to be civil unrest at some point very soon.

J: Yeah, well, I think the economic realities are going to overtake, let’s say, the...the...the pandemic theories at a certain point.

G: Yes.

J: Because so far, I mean, we have a situation that’s quite serious but so far we’ve just had theories about what’s going on here and it’s, I mean... They can talk about projections and numbers and what-not... but it’s, you know, it’s one thing to...to live it and it’s, er, quite something different to have it just written on the computer.

G: Another....another interesting feature I notice, in Rio, was...um...you may have heard – in some neighborhoods you have these militias that, um, go around collecting ‘protection money’ or...um...I guess you’d call it, um, ‘extortion’, yes?

J: Right.

G: And, um, in some neighborhoods the, er, the militias, they don’t want to lose their payments from these local businesses, so they are kind of forcing the, er, businesses to stay open. And they are saying – ‘Look, you know, we want our money! So, you better stay open cos we’re gonna be back next week and we’re gonna...you better have your payment at the ready.’ And some of these places, they are saying – ‘Well, you know, we don’t even have the money to pay bread, you know, because everything’s closed. How is it possible we’re going to pay these militias that keep coming round?’

J: Yeah. Yeah.

G: So, er, um, some...some of the neighborhoods, it’s...it’s really quite tricky this situation, you know?

J: Yeah, it’s...it’s...it’s...it’s a bad situation for everybody, in general. So, I mean, there...there...there are people that are thinking from a health perspective, but certainly the economic reality, that...that’s...that’s going to be driving, I think, the conversation pretty soon.

G: Yes, yeah, I think that’s true. Although, I think those who can work from home will probably do so. It’s just going to be that the majority can’t. And one of things you notice when you look at different countries is they track the ability of workers to work from home. So, in countries like Germany, then maybe 60% of the population is able to work from home, whereas a country like India, say, then only about 20% or 15% is. So, then you are dealing with a very different environment, so you can’t have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ response to the problem, I don’t think.

J: Right, no, no, you certainly can’t. Certainly in the western countries, it’s...it’s a very different reality than...than what we have, let’s say, here or in Latin America. The situation in Ecuador is completely different.

G: Yes, so I just hope that the politicians realize that we’re not living in Germany here and that we may have to come up with our own solution as to the best way to balance people’s needs with, er, people’s health.

J: Right. Right. And then, I mean, and but that...that’s kind of the, er, let’s say, the crux of the...er...problem is that...that WHO is looking at things from a global perspective...er...but the people here are not. They’re certainly just... they’re looking at things from a local perspective. They try to have coordination with this but it’s just not...it’s just not possible.          

                                                                                                                        End of Part 1 

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G: Jay, what caught your eye this week?

J: I’ve tried to select a couple of stories that are a little bit lighter in nature and hopefully that will give you a...a boost to get through the day.

G: I need a boost – always. Ever and always.

J: So my...my first story comes to us from Finland.

G: Finland? My goodness.

J: Finland, yes. As you know, even in the Scandinavian countries – especially in the Scandinavian countries because it’s cold there and the virus loves cold, erm, they have had some...some serious problems with the smaller businesses. As it is, Finland already doesn’t have a lot of population, and if they have a pandemic and nobody orders anything, people stay at home, the smaller businesses suffer even more. My story here is about a particular baker in Finland, and he had always had orders, people coming in. Suddenly all of the orders stopped. What do you do? And he noticed that people had stopped consuming his baked goods and started buying rolls of toilet paper. So he had this idea that he was going to start making cakes that looked like toilet paper.

G:  Ok. As you do. But they are not usable, presumably?

J: And his orders started to pick up and now he’s selling even better than he was before the pandemic! So at least he’s safe, he’s secure. He’s selling toilet paper as well – but it’s edible toilet paper.

G: I’ve never known a patisserie sell toilet paper, actually. That’s...that’s new to me.

J: Why...yes, I thought I....I thought it was going to catch your attention. That was a little bit different.

G: Well there’s been...there’s been fights over toilet paper, actually. I...I’ve seen in...in various countries – particularly England, of course, which I keep an eye on – but they were...they had, er, lots of empty shelves where the toilet paper used to be. So, I...I think that’s the first thing people worry about, strangely enough, isn’t it?

J: Well, in the United States as well. They had shelves and there were lines for toilet paper. I’ve never heard of that. And, to be honest, I still don’t know why people want so much toilet paper.

G: I...I don’t know why it’s top of their list of priorities. I mean it’s not the first thing that occurs to me when I think – ‘Oh, my goodness. There’s going to be a virus, and we are going to be quarantined. I must get more toilet paper.’

J: ‘Oh my god. Yeah, there’s a global pandemic and people are dying. Oh – let’s get some toilet paper!’ Yes.

G: It depends how much it scares you, I guess. Maybe if you are the very sensitive sort, maybe it does require extra? I don’t know.

J: Ah, if you’ve got a sensitive bladder. That’s possible.

G: Or, yes, could be.

J: Yeah. Could be.

G: Anyway, yes, Finland is interesting actually. I heard – talking about Finland – I heard that they did some interesting testing. This is one of the few countries where they, um, sample people who are healthy as well as people who are sick. So they did statistical sampling to see how many people had the virus and they discovered that around about 50% of the people with the virus show no symptoms, which I thought was quite interesting, actually.

J: Wow.

G: But that’s kind of good news, really. Because it means it’s...um...very serious for some but...er...statistically not necessarily that serious for the whole population.

J: Right. What else do you have for us? What caught your eye, this week?

G: What do I have? One...one...one chap who caught my eye, actually – I don’t know if you’ve heard about him – he’s a ninety-nine-year-old former army veteran in the United Kingdom...

J: Ok.

G: ...and he lives in an old people’s home, or a care home, I guess we should call it...

J: Right.

G: ...and, I guess, he thought – ‘Well, you know, I’m in my care home. I’m a bit bored here and, you know, there’s a big pandemic going on, what can I do to...

J: To help.

G: ...to help the situation. So he decided that he was going to do a sponsored walk around his garden. Now, because he’s in a care home his garden is actually quite large. So, I don’t know the actual distance of each circuit of the garden...

J: Ok.

G: ...but he decided he was going to do 100 laps of his garden to raise money for charity.

J: Ok.

G: And he wanted to raise £1000 for charity.

J: Well, that’s very nice of him. That’s a...that’s a great, er, fantastic effort.

G: And how much do you think he actually raised?

J: Er, more. I would...I would say ten thousand.

G: Erm, try £17 million.

J: Seventeen million pounds?

G: This guy just captured the imagination or the he...hearts of a lot of British people over there and they...er...just sponsored him like crazy and he completed his hundred laps and he raised seventeen million pounds for the British national health system.

J: Oh, that’s fantastic. That’s fantastic. Great story.

G: And, do you...do you know how he followed this up? Because he became a national hero after he had done this, of course.

J: Right. What...erm...I don’t know. Maybe he decided to go around the parking lot? I don’t know.

G: He followed it up with a pop record.

J: With a what? A pop record?

G: Yes. And now...

J: So he’s...he’s the singing general or whatever? I don’t know.

G: He teamed up with a Canadian singer and now he’s top of the national charts with a pop song. And all the money from the pop song is going to charity too, so this guy has become an absolute celebrity.

J: Oh, fantastic. Gotta like that guy! He...you said he...

G: And he’s one hundred next week.

J: He was ninety-nine years old. My goodness. That...what a...what a great way to have a birthday, you know?

G: One hundred years old next week. So, yes, it shows it’s never too late to...er...to fulfil something useful, no?

J: Amazing. So, and you said that he was a World War II veteran?

G: He was a World War II veteran.

J: I bet that guy...

G: He’s got his medals on and everything as he’s going round the park. He’s kind of a cute guy.

J: Fantastic. Oh, the guy he’s had...he’s had quite a life hasn’t he?

G: Well, he’s certainly finished on a high. Unless he lives for another hundred years, of course.

J: I...I would like to follow that up with...with something I heard, kind of a...a feel good story from India. Erm, the...the government, because of the...the crisis there, the government realized that the...the health care workers were running a much higher risk...er...of their lives, basically, because it’s a...it’s a...you know... pandemic because India’s very serious. And they offered the health care workers to double their salary during this national crisis. And the health care workers refused!

G: Okay.

J: So, I mean that’s...

G: So, why did they refuse?

J: Well, I...I...kind of out of moral obligation. They felt a moral obligation to take care of people and they...er...kind of wanted to show that they weren’t doing it for...for the money but for the...the passion and the love of their...their profession.

G: So, he wasn’t asking for any extra work out of them, then? He was just offering to pay them double as an appreciation for their work?

J: Well, I don’t know all the details in this. What I know are the basic facts is that they offered to double their salary and the health care workers refused because they felt their...their resources would be better devoted...er...to other things.

G: Wow. Well, good for them.

J: So that’s pretty amazing.

G: So, er, what else....what else you got for us this week? What else caught your eye?

J: Well, for this next story, I’m going to travel to Colombia and also...er...your land...er...a little bit in England, because, especially in Colombia, it seems that with the quarantine, people have had to, let’s say, diversify a little bit. Because, you know, you’re at home and don’t have so much time. You have a lot of time at home and no time to work. So, sex toy sales in Colombia are up now about 140%!

G: Well, how...why Colombia? I mean, surely it must be true around the world?

J: Well...er...that’s what I was going to talk about. At least, in England, also, sex toy sales have...have increased. In Medellin the sales are going drastically, by the day. They say that Colombians are generally conservative and they needed new ways of expressing themselves. That was the philosophy behind why the sex-toy sales are up.

G: And also, you can’t go to church at the moment.

J: No, you can’t go to church, you can’t do anything, so...er...no church, no work, I guess that’s what they are going to do!

G: So which...which is the most popular toy then? Did you research this?

J: I actually don’t really know exactly which products are selling more. They...they did kind of mention that it wasn’t just limited for toys for two. Also toys for one were also selling...er...quite a bit more. And in Denmark the sales have more than doubled. Er...what caught my eye...

G: Why...why Denmark? Interesting.

J: I...I don’t know. Colombia...

G: My sister-in-law lives in Denmark, actually, so I don’t know. I’ll have to ask her.

J: Right. Give her a call. I don’t know...er...I don’t know if she’s going to tell you anything though but...but they...they did say that one of the reasons they thought that – at least in Colombia – that they thought the sex toys were selling more is that, they say, people were just too busy with their daily lives and they didn’t have time to diversify.

G: To deviate, never mind di...diversifying!

J: Deviate, diversify – however you’d like to say it, yes. Many ways to express...er...activity.

G: Well, I’m very happy to know that Colombians are enjoying themselves while we’re all suffering here. That’s lovely.

J: So, what...what else did you have for us?

G: I was kind of interested to see...er...the American president’s recommendations for...um...combatting the Coronavirus. I don’t know if you saw his latest suggestions?

J: No, I...I think they change every week. I don’t know what he’s recommending now.

G: Well, yesterday’s news conference he was suggesting that we should...ex-experiment...um...injecting ourselves with...um...disinfectant or detergent or....

J: Are you serious?

G: ...bleach, basically, yes.

J: Exp...inject bleach right into your blood veins, that’s...that’s a good way.

G: Exactly. That’s got to do you a lot of good, hasn’t it?

J: Oh my god. Is this....is this guy serious?

G: The other thing he was also suggesting they s...should research is to see if they can find a way of getting ultraviolet sunlight into our bloodstreams – directly again, through the skin, so not on the skin but under the skin.

J: Ultraviolet sunlight in... So how are you going to...you supposed to open up your veins and let the sunshine in? I dunno.

G: Well, this was something he was seriously suggesting to his aids, yesterday – his professional doctors and medical people and...um...they all kept a straight face, and I...I applaud them. I think they are doing a wonderful job, appeasing our...our...er...good friend, Mr Trump.

J: Oh, my goodness. That’s....that’s...(sigh).

G: The other thing I noticed... I don’t know if you noticed a few weeks ago but he was selling chloroquine as the...um...the answer to all evils, like...um...some sort of snake medicine, you know.

J: That’s something that they used to disinfect...er...fish tanks.

G: Exactly.

J: Yes.

G: And they discovered – some people have actually done trials with chloroquine – and they discovered that the people taking chloroquine died more than the people who didn’t take it. So, um, that’s another winner for Mr Trump.

J: I do know that there were two people in Arizona that died because of that. They...they...they heard the President recommending this thing and they decided – ‘Oh, our fish tank cleaner has the same chemical make-up. Let’s just take that, and we’ll be safe.’ And, of course, within 48 hours, both of them were dead. So...

G: Yes, I shouldn’t be laughing, but yes, unfortunately, that’s true.

J: I mean...I mean you have to use a bit of common sense on this, please. I mean, seriously!

G: Well, needless to say the manufacturers of the main det...disinfectants are on the news today announcing – ‘please do not inject our products into your system because it will do you harm.’

J: Yes, no, er...

G: They are not to be ingested.

J: No, that’s...that’s not a good idea.

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