Full Transcript - Episode 7
Airport rankings, mystery mogul, Rapunzel Syndrome and more dung...plus someone who actually knows more about the Brazilian economy than two gringos!
G: …what this button does? Ah, looks like we’re recording. Um, well I don’t see Jay around. May-maybe I should start? Hang on. Let’s…er…let’s just take a look…no. My goodness. What’s this? Ooh, no, I don’t like… Ooh, Jay, Jay I never knew! That’s…that’s…ooh, my goodness! No, I tell you what, um, I won’t start now. Let’s…let’s have a little bit of music and I’ll be right back.
J: What? Get out of there! That’s not for you!
J: Hello, and welcome to the first pod from 2020!
G: Indeed. Welcome from 2020 – The Future!
J: The future. So Gee, how was, er, Christmas and New Year’s?
G: Christmas was great, actually. I-I ate too much and drank too much.
J: Oh. I just…I just ate too much. I didn’t really drink that much this time.
G: Oh. Well. You…you obviously failed then, yes?
J: Yes, I did. Anyway, let’s go straight to business and let’s, er, talk about the news from the week because we have a lot…a lot…a lot on our schedule today. First of all, in the beginning of the year, there’s usually a lot of economic forecasts coming out and, er, a lot of new data from the previous years, and we have…
G: We have the long-promised economist! He’s finally coming in.
J: The economist…ooh…
G: The economist. Not from the magazine but somebody who’s an economist.
J: An actual economist – who actually earns money doing economy.
G: He’s been an economist for fifteen years or more.
J: Yeesh. This guy, he must have a boatload of experience.
G: He knows more than two gringos.
J: Alright. And what else do we have?
G: And I guess we’ll have our regular sections. We’re gonna have, er, ‘What Caught My Eye’, which we’ll kick-off shortly, and maybe a little bit of guru at the end.
J: A little bit of guru…some news… So let’s kick off the news to start with cos I’m actually…I’m raring to go. I have some really good stories today.
G: Excellent! I’ll look forward to those.
J: What do you…what do you have for us? What’s your top story of the day?
G: I’m going to start with a little, brief piece of local news, actually.
G: Have you ever heard of the OAG?
J: No, I have no idea.
G: I-I don’t know what it is, actually. It’s…it’s…it’s actually an English acronym. OAG is what it’s called in Portuguese, actually. But basically, they are the people who evaluate the performance of airports.
J: Ah, interesting. Ok.
G: And they have produced and published their figures from last year.
J: But…but they evaluate airports how? In…in what way?
G: In terms of punctuality. So basically, they classify each airport depending on size. So you’ve got small, medium, large, very large and mega. And then they look at the number of planes that leave on time, as a percentage, each year.
G: And then they rank the airports based on that percentage.
J: So but…it’s not…so, just to be clear – it’s not based on safety. It’s not based on acts of terrorism, or anything else. It’s simply the…the…if they depart and arrive on time?
G: It doesn’t say if the planes arrived or not, no. It just says that they departed on time, at least.
J: Ok. Ok, so…
G: Anyhow, I thought you’d be curious to know that…
J: Well, that-that’s nice that you talk about airplanes while an airplane is going overhead at the same time!
G: Yes. Who knows if that will be safe? I-I’m sure it will.
J: As long as they don’t hit me, I’m ok.
G: Alright, so, the…you’ll be pleasantly surprised to know… Where…where would you expect Garulhos to be on this list – our main airport in São Paulo?
J: I would say somewhere in the middle.
G: Well, in the ‘very large’ category – it’s a bit like the Oscars, this…
G: …in the ‘very large’ category they came fourth, no less.
G: Fourth, for punctuality.
J: Push…puxa vida!
G: They came fourth with 81.39%.
J: You know, that’s interesting.
G: That’s quite surprising, that.
J: By the way, I know th…I know the person who’s responsible for the design of that new airport. No, a-act…that’s not a joke! I know that person.
G: I’m sure he can take credit for that, then. That’s great. Would you like to know the 3 airports that finished in front of Garulhos?
J: Ok, ye-c-can I guess as to what they are?
G: You can have a guess, but remember they are not ‘mega’, they are just ‘very large’, so it’s difficult to know... So probably Frankfurt’s not in there because it would be mega, wouldn’t it? Or…
J: I-I don’t know. I’m going to say Tokyo’s up there somewhere. And other punctual cities, I would estimate that-that Britain, or what-what’s the main airport? Heathrow. I would say Heathrow is up there somewhere.
G: Well, Heathrow would be in the mega category, too.
J: Oh, that’s mega. Ok, that doesn’t count. Erm, so…
G: Actually, you’re not going to get these. Two of them are American. Guess…guess two large, but not mega, airports that would be reliable in the US.
J: Dallas. Dallas is one.
G: That’s probably another mega one.
J: Dallas is a mega? Ok, Atlanta.
G: That’s another mega one.
J: Bloody hell.
G: They’re huge.
G: They’re all…they’re all hubs.
J: JFK. That’s also a hub.
G: That’s all mega. No, no, basically, then the large…
J: I don’t know!
G: …in the large category, you’ve got Minneapolis and Detroit.
G: They…they finished second and third and Istanbul was top of that particular category.
J: So, go Turk!
G: Go Turk.
G: I have to say, I didn’t look to see who won the mega category. I’ll have to go back and take a look.
J: Interesting. Ok.
G: And some of the other airports in Brazil also performed respectably. Um, Congonhas came 12th in the ‘large’ category, and Brasilia 4th in the ‘large’ category.
J: Oh, way to go.
G: So, um, things are better than you (sic) seem. But then again, it’s all about Statistics isn’t it? Because…
J: Yes. It’s perception.
G: You say 81% were on time. That means nearly 20% were not on time, doesn’t it? Which is like 1 in 5, so…
J: Yeah. It th-then again it comes down to perspective.
G: It comes down to perspective. Anyhow, I thought I’d share that with you. What-what do you have for this week? What caught your eye this week, Jay?
J: Well, I tell you what, I’ll…to-to introduce my story this week, let’s play a little game to start with.
G: Ooh, I love games, yes.
J: And the name of this game is – ‘What’s My Name?’
J: So I’m going to give you some tips…
J: …and then you tell me who you think this individual is.
J: Ok, so I-I will be very clear – it-it is one individual. It’s not a corporation. It’s not an entity. It’s a person.
G: Are you going to tell me which region of the world they come from?
G: No, that’s completely…
J: Because that might give it away.
G: Alright, let’s go.
J: Ok. Er, ‘I believe…’ Sorry this…this is what I’m saying about this person. ‘I believe there is or was a government conspiracy, and say prosecutors have withheld evidence in my benefit.’
J: So, then, m-meaning they know something that might free me but, er, they are not telling other people.
G: Ok. That might free you?
J: Um, well, er, let-let’s say that would…er…might make the charges against me irrelevant.
G: Ok. But they’re not sharing it with anybody?
J: But they’re not telling anybody.
G: So they’re against you, yeah?
J: Yes. So almost…
G: Oh, I don’t know. This is…sounds quite hard.
J: We’re talking conspiracy here.
G: Well conspiracy – I mean it’s got to be American politics. It’s got to be Trump, always.
G: Trump is the answer to every question, isn’t it?
J: Ok. I will go to number…tip number two.
J: I have…I have four tips here. Tip number two: I have done radical moves to escape local authorities. Tip number two!
G: Well again that could be a lot of people but again Trump could also classify (sic) for that one.
J: Tip number three! Tensions have mounted between two countries as a direct result of my actions.
G: Hm, well now I’m pretty confident in my answer! It can be only one!
J: And tip number four. I will hold a news conference on January 7.
G: January 7?
G: Hm. I don’t know. I don’t know now.
J: Now, that’s tomorrow.
G: Ok. Well, if…if it’s the man I think it is, then um, he holds a lot of new…news conferences, actually, so, but yes, it could be him, couldn’t it?
J: So you think it’s Trump?
G: Obviously it leads…you’ve led me down that path…the…the clues, the trail leads there. The breadcrumbs lead me there but maybe it’s not.
J: Gee, you are a genius! You are absolutely, positively, 100% incorrect!
G: Yes, great.
G: So who is it then?
J: Carlos Ghosn.
G: Ah, him. Yes, yes.
J: Carlos Ghosn. Who was Carlos Ghosn? Carlos Ghosn’s wife is currently under investigation for financial misconduct in Japan. That came out today.
J: Ghosn is the fa…former Nissan owner and Renault chairman, and he is currently accused of financial crimes.
G: His wife is Brazilian, isn’t she?
J: I…I imagine. He’s Brazilian, so…
G: No, he’s…he’s Lebanese, I believe.
J: Is he Lebanese?
G: And his…his wife is Brazilian.
J: Ah, ok. Anyway…
G: That’s why he has a Brazilian passport.
G: Along with his French passport.
J: So, anyway, his…he has lawyers, of course. Er, his lawyers – Ghosn’s lawyers – say he has documents of a governmental plot to remove him as CEO, and he escaped to Lebanon. Now…where they do not typically extradite people accused of crimes.
G: And especially not to Japan.
J: Especially not to Japan. And Japan has said that it…it is necessary to consider the legal systems of both countries to avoid escalation of the current situation.
J: So, basically Ghosn ran home to Mommy and Daddy, and he’s hiding out there, and now his wife might be arrested.
G: His wife’s going to be arrested?
J: Well, th-the Japanese prosecutors have, let’s say, issued…er…er…a document calling for her arrest, because they accused her of, er, lying to investigators – so, er, withholding evidence from investigators...
G: But is she in Japan?
J: I don’t know where she is.
G: I think she’s in Lebanon.
J: I-I-I don’t know. Anyway…
G: She should come back to Brazil.
J: Yeah, anyway…
G: No-nobody gets extradited from Brazil!
J: No-nobody gets extradited from Lebanon, either, er…accordingly. I dunno. So, anyway, that’s the situation.
G: Excellent. Well, rather him than me. But I’d rather have his money, at least. I don’t mind being in his situation with his money.
J: Yeah, I dunno about that. But anyway, what else do you have for us?
G: I got a story from your country, actually. Um, have you ever heard of trichophagia?
G: Yes. It’s a condition. There was…there was a lady in Arizona, she was 38 years old…
G: …and she wasn’t feeling well. She was losing weight. She was feeling nauseous. So, the…she took some tests and she went to the doctor, and the doctors, they couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with her. So they noticed from her blood test that her protein levels were low.
J: Low proteins.
G: So they concluded that they poss…that she possibly had a blockage of the digestive tract.
G: So they decided to operate and see what they found. They found…
J: What did they find?
G: They found a hairball six inches by four inches!
J: Oh my go…a hairball?
G: A hairball.
J: Was she kissing her cat?
G: She was somebody who suffers from Rapunzel Syndrome.
G: Have you ever heard of Rapunzel Syndrome?
J: Never heard of this in my life!
G: Rapunzel, obviously, is the…the character from the Fairy Tale who had very, very long hair, and she used to let it down from her castle tower…
G: …etc. And apparently there are certain compulsive behaviors where people like to cut their hair and they eat it. And over…
J: She was a hair eater. She’s-she’s a cat! She is a cat.
G: She ate her own hair.
J: What the D… but I mean does she do…now, does she do this consciously or unconsciously?
G: A bit of both, I think. Cos they say…they say with these compulsive behaviors, you often are not aware that you are doing them, so…
J: I know a personal stylist that she should probably contact.
G: Yes, I definitely would think so. Apparently there has (sic) been 88 reported cases of this.
J: Of Rapunzelitis?
G: Of Rapunzel Syndrome, yes.
G: And there was a girl in England who even died from it, unfortunately, so…um…
J: Well, yeah, I mean if-if you want to…if you eat enough of your hair, I imagine you’ll just choke on it and – ergh.
G: Well, it-it’s the complications you get. You get horrible things like, um, hemorrhaging and inflammation and infection eventually, and all that stuff.
J: Well cats get it because they clean themselves but, I mean, she just does it because she likes her own hair.
G: Yes. So, can you imagine – 6 inches by 4 inches – that’s a…that’s a large lump of hair. And unfortunately I saw the photo too, which is not something...I’m glad…I’m very happy I can’t share that with you on the pod, actually.
J: No, I think…I think it’s better that we can’t see that, yes.
G: So…er…yes, beware if you are compelled to eat your own hair, because it’s not a good idea.
J: It’s a hairy story.
G: It’s a hairy story, it is.
G: And what about you? What are…what are you, er, rounding off with today?
J: Well I…I have this thing. This makes me laugh every time I think about it. I’m sorry. This is just so… Anyway, do you remember a couple of pods ago – I don’t remember which pod it was – we talked about the use of elephant dung?
G: Hey, we did, yes, yes. There are many uses, I’m sure.
J: So, have you noticed here, walking in São Paulo that you…you see…
G: Any elephant dung? No.
J: Elephant dung no…
G: I’ve stepped in a few things but I don’t think it’s been elephant dung, no.
J: But you’ve stepped in some excrement, some poop, some dog poop, right?
G: Well, yes, unfortunately that happens, yes.
J: And here in São Paulo there’s quite a bit of it. It turns out that actually this d…this poop, this dog poop could actually have a different use than only making gin.
J: Because, er, Philippines secondary students – so, people from the Phillipines – and we’re talking about children, er, 12 to 14 years old.
J: They have found a way to convert dog poop in… er, into a mixture that you can use for bricks. So you can use this for construction purposes.
J: So, we’re ta…we’re talking about actually it’s possible you see something lying there on-on the ground – here they say dejetos…dejetos do seu…seu animal. It’s possible that actually is quite useful. And it could help to lower construction costs in the future.
G: So this is going to substitute for concrete, is it?
J: Well, it’s not a substitute. But it’s…it’s…it’s something that…, it’s a cheaper way to build, let’s say, er, your garden walls, your streets, your pavements. These kinds of things. Er, the students, they claim that their bio-bricks, as they call them – they call them bio-bricks – that they’re ideal for sidewalks or, let’s say, structures don’t…don’t have to support a lot of weight.
J: So apparently you can…you can walk on it but you can’t put, let’s say, your…a whole lot of weight on it because otherwise the poop might break.
G: Well yes, it might, yes. I’ve never thought about that.
J: Well any…anyway, they say each brick contains about 10g of dog poo and 10g of cement powder. And students say that over the passage of time, that the odor will eventually go away. So…
G: So you’re not going to line your bedroom with it then, no?
J: No, I just…I just kind of fee… When I read this, I thought – ‘Oh my God, I feel kind sorry for the pedreiro that has to do this because now the…the guy, he literally has his hands in…in shit.
G: Or even how the first person discovered this was even possible, yes? I mean, how do you stumble across this…that sort of thing?
J: Well they…now you can literally stumble across it, yes.
G: Yes. So that’s The Future?
J: So that’s The Future.
G: We’re going back to living in mud huts.
J: I don’t know but it’s…
G: Poop huts.
J: Yeah. Anyway, that’s my news of the week.
G: That sounds exciting and lots of potential there.
J: Yes, lots of potential. I don’t know about the potential smell but that’s a different story.
G: Well, thanks for sharing that with us.
J: Thank you.
G: I’m going to rush out and get a dog.
End of Part 1